TNA Bound For Glory 2013

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TNA BOUND FOR GLORY 2013

Welcome cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that hurt more for your pleasure than an actor doing his 20th nut shot take of the day, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we have finally come to the ultimate event in TNA’s year, Bound For Glory 2013. Everything that TNA has crafted over the prior 364 days has led inexorably to this place and this moment, where it will all become clear and the path will make sense. The agony of the past 11 months will be undone in a glorious night of untold wonder and genuine merriment. There is no possible way that these ladies and gentleman could produce for us anything less than the very finest that the grappling arts can be. And when the smoke clears and the sad eyed homeless man now calling himself AJ Styles has finally triumphed over the powers of evil after years of anticipation, it will be a magnificent moment. One to tell the grandchildren about no doubt. So let’s dig right into this event while I’m still in a state of manic delusion, and see just what TNA has to say for itself after what may be the worst year for any company in the history of professional wrestling.

Segment 1 – OPENING VIDEO FEVER!

Cewsh: In order for this show to really work, it’s going to be important to ignore some things and to really highlight the parts of feuds that might make them coherent. In the case of the AJ Styles/Bully Ray feud, which is the marquee one of this show, we’re going to ignore the whole Aces and Eights thing altogether. While that has been the crux of the entire storyline from the start, they’ve been all but ignoring it coming into the show, so I charitably will as well. Without that, this storyline is about a man, (AJ Styles,) who feels like the company he gave his career for has turned its back on him, and another man, (Bully Ray,) who has made himself the king of the barren wasteland of TNA through blood and fire.

AJ wants to win the title to prove his worth and make Dixie Carter pay for wronging him, and Bully Ray wants to win to stay the king. Let’s just stick with that nice, simple, concept for now, because when we get to the match itself we’re going to have to talk about everything else and it’s going to give all of us a headache.

The opening video does a great job of dramatizing this whole thing, (thanks especially to Bully Ray’s incredible promo work.) This video is a good start that simplified things down and gave us an idea to follow along with. Good enough for a start.

Segment 2 – TNA X Division Championship – Ultimate X Match – Manik (c) vs. Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Samoa Joe

Cewsh: Take a gander at that lineup. Just look at it for a second.

If you take Manik out of it, you have a match that could have easily main evented a TNA ppv in better days. Hell, I would have lost my mind if you suggested we’d be getting it as a fatal four way. Unfortunately, I didn’t even know that this match was taking place on this show prior to the show actually starting, and everyone in it other than Manik is here after a huge depush following a World title win, which takes some of the luster off of the whole thing.

But these guys are still who they are, and even Manik is now being played by the hugely talented TJ Perkins. The biog thing holding it all together is Joe, who the crowd is in love with, and who provides a very different flavor to the usual Ultimate X proceedings. It’s actually reminiscent of his incredible run as X Division champion, where his bulk and speed combined to make things more interesting than the endless procession of tiny flippy guys. The added element of Joe gives everyone else more to work with, and the match as a whole seems much more fresh and interesting than one of these has in years.

Unfortunately, then we had to come to the finish, which blew more than a whale with a seaweed allergy. Chris Sabin’s new gimmick is that he’s a douchebag who happens to have a hot girlfriend, (his real life girlfriend Velvet Sky.) It’s a terrible gimmick that Sabin is not especially good at, and frankly if Velvet Sky is going to be a valet, then she’s kind of wasted on the likes of Chris Sabin.

Wait, I Take That Back. Nothing About This Looks Strange At All.

At the end of this match he starts yelling at her to interfere in the match. He shoves her into the ring to distract Hardy, and then climbs the ladder that had been set up in the middle of the ring, (which of of defeats the purpose of the match but let’s not get sidetracked.) Hardy is distracted for like 1 second, then sees Sabin and they climb the ladder together. Meanwhile, Manik is hurtling hand over hand across the ropes towards them. Logic might then dictate that Jeff Hardy and/or Manik might have some part to play in the finish to this match. NOPE. Sabin grabs the belt, hits Hardy with it and falls to the ground, and Manik flops down ineffectually near him. END OF MATCH.

Now, I’m not exactly going to blow my top over one deflating finish when there’s so much TNA still to go. But what I will say is that this was an exciting match that really had the crowd interested and seemed to be going places. This is not a match that I have any reason to be mean to, except for the fact that it ended in a really awkward and deflating way, with the lamest character in the whole thing winning. This is how they started their Wrestlemania. Make of that what you will.

65 out of 100

Chris Sabin Over Everyone Else Following His Retrieval Of the Title.
Segment 3 – Poor Bad Influence.

Cewsh: Pleasingly, we transition from our first match of the night to our first promo of the night, as the team of Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian wander down to the ring to protest the horrifying injustice of their exclusion from the tag team title match later to come. They’re soon joined by Eric Young, who has made the transition into the most bizarre looking wrestling character in the United States so subtly over the years, that you can only fully appreciate the true majesty of it all if you step back and really think about it.

He Also Looks Like My Dad To A Troubling Extent.

Young tells Daniels and Kazarian that they aren’t in the title match because they lost a match on the pre show. This is the first of several times tonight that people will reference events on the pre show without ever actually explaining what those events were, because if you tuned in at 8:00 instead of 7:30, you’re probably some kind of terrorist or something, and don’t deserve context. Young goes on to mention that they woke a monster on the pre show, which brings out Joseph Parks in his Super Saiyan form.

Abyss slams Daniels and Kazarian around a bunch, makes like he’s going to go after Young, but spares him instead. Segment over. Now, it’s pretty sad that this is the only way that Bad Influence can get on the biggest show of the year, and it’s pretty implausible that TNA expects us to view Abyss as a thoughtless, remorseless monster again after the 300 or so times that he has been a perfectly lucid and friendly character in the past. But mostly, this was just a segment where things happened. That’s what we should all remember. Things happened.

Segment 4 – “What Would Really Put This Show Over The Top?” “A Gunner Promo.” “That’s Why You Make The Big Bucks.”

Cewsh: James Storm and Gunner are in the back and cut a promo about their title defense against The Bromance. Gunner talks for a few minutes, and I swear to you, I don’t remember a single word he said. That’s not me trying to be mean, it just went in one ear and out the other without triggering anything in between. Not even the gigantic portion of my brain dedicated to throwing shade and absolutely nothing else. It’s a weird experience, compounded further by the off putting feeling that he’s staring at me through the screen the entire time he’s talking.

Um, Hi.

At any rate, Storm and Gunner think they’re going to win the match. Since they’re wrestling Robbie E and Jesse, I can understand their confidence.

Segment 5 – TNA World Tag Team Championships – Convenient Booking (James Storm and Gunner) (c) vs. The Bromance (Jesse and Robbie E)

Cewsh: Look, I know what you’re thinking. This is a match between two thrown together tag teams, one of which is unironically called “The Bromance” and is made up of two comedy jobbers. There’s no reason for you to take this match seriously on paper, and I know that I certainly didn’t. But appearances can be deceiving, and the fact of the matter is that James Storm is one of the greatest tag team wrestlers in the history of professional wrestling. Seriously, he is. Want proof? Watch this match.

The idea that we could come to take The Bromance seriously in any way would seem to be a logical fallacy, as would their winning two matches against top talent on the same night and somehow becoming the TNA Tag Team champions completely out of nowhere with the Hart Attack. But hell, I don’t know, they looked pretty legit here, even though their random Mr. Olympia manager did his best to devour every piece of scenery he came in contact with every time the camera was on him.

This is a good match. One that I have no major complaints about, or even reservations towards. In other places that might not be noteworthy, but these TNA reviews tend to get slightly negative here and there. It’s worth it to take the time to give praise where praise is due.

75 out of 100

The Bromance Over Storm and Gunner Following The Power Lift.

Segment 6 – Hall of Fame Induction.

Cewsh: If you’ve read anything about Bound For Glory prior to reading this, this is probably one of the things that you’ve heard people talking about. Yes, Kurt Angle does turn down his induction to the Hall of Fame and yes, it is super weird. To explain exactly why he did it and why it’s weird, let’s break this down step by step.

Last year, TNA instituted a Hall of Fame, making Sting their first ever inductee and establishing a tradition where they would announce who was going in at Slammiversary and then induct them at Bound For Glory. So along came the next Slammiversary, and when Kurt Angle’s name was announced as the new induction, his reaction was one of genuine surprise. He openly wept as he watched a video honoring him and his contributions to TNA, and seemed so touched at the gesture that it seemed to validate the Hall of Fame concept more in one moment than any number of big name inductees could.

And that brings us to tonight. Bear in mind, it has been several months since Slammiversary, and just prior to Bound For Glory, they had a whole ceremony to praise and honor Angle. So it must be said that it comes as a pretty incredible shock when Sting goes to offer the Hall of Fame gold watch to Kurt, and Kurt turns down both the watch and the induction.

Kurt’s reasoning seems to be that he has embarrassed himself recently, (likely in reference to his recent DUI troubles among other things,) and that he doesn’t deserve the honor. That’s being a bit harsh on himself, but it would be an understandable reaction aside from the fact that he waited until he was actively getting the watch on the biggest show of the year to say, “Nah, I’m good.” Because the problem with that is it makes this seem like a storyline.

If this is real and not manufactured for some unknown stunt down the road, this is Kurt’s decision. If he feels like he isn’t the person he wants to be honored for being, then so be it, and I hope he is able to find himself while we still have him around to appreciate. But if it is a storyline, then TNA is just doing what TNA does. Letting air out of the balloon before it even gets off the ground.

Segment 7 – “The World Needs Us. We’re The Carter’s.”

Cewsh: Fed up with people giving her no respect, Dixie Carter has embraced her inner dictator and has been doing everything possible to run AJ Styles out of town and ruin the lives of all who cross her. And while the idea of Dixie getting gobs of mic time may sound like a disaster, I would be lying if I said that she isn’t killing it as the evil owner. It was a great move on TNA’s part to make her character be everything that internet fans have darkly accused her of being for years, and it gives the babyfaces on the roster an interesting foil to work with. This sort of thing is the flipside of the TNA coin. They can make any good idea rotten, and then take the most seemingly ridiculous nonsense and make it your favorite part of the show.

Here, we see Dixie backstage talking on her cell phone, when Derrick Bateman, of WWE NXT fame, shows up looking dapper in a suit. Bateman is playing Dixie’s nephew, named Ethan Carter III, who she is nepotisming the shit out of by giving him a cushy debut match on the biggest show of the year. He and Dixie congratulate each other and utter the immortal phrase in the segment header, which is as heelish a set of words as ever there will be, before Bateman heads off to prepare for his match.

Get Used To Seeing This.

You know what? Let’s give TNA some huge brownie points again. You may remember my heated complaints about how they all but ruined any chance Garrett Bischoff may ever have had in wrestling by doing this exact push with him and his father Eric. The reason that didn’t work is because Garrett wasn’t even remotely ready for that spotlight, and never got the chance to build himself up gradually, causing the fans to resent him for how shitty he was. At the time I shouted from the rooftops the advice, “IF YOU’RE GOING TO SAY SOMEONE IS A WRESTLER’S FAMILY MEMBER, JUST LIE ABOUT IT. IT’S WRESTLING. PICK SOMEONE GOOD AND THEN LIE. NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR REAL LIFE KID.” And here TNA has gone and done that exact thing, with an exciting talent who may really be able to pull it off. I don’t know how he’ll do when the spotlight hits him, but at least he has the ability and the experience to make a real go of it.

Fucking hell, I just heavily praised TNA twice in the same segment. They’re going to revoke my membership at the Hater’s Club.

Segment 8 – TNA Knockouts Championship – ODB (c) vs. Brooke vs. Gail Kim

Cewsh: Real quick, let me update you on what has been going on with the Knockouts. ODB is the champion, after beating Mickie James right before she left the company. Other people who no longer work here include Tara, (who was fired,) Madison Rayne, (who was fired while pregnant,) Taryn Terrell, (who is on maternity leave and will conceivably be back at some point,) Taeler Hendrix, (the only halfway decent Knockout in their developmental program,) and Brooke Hogan, (who was kayfabe in charge of the whole division.) That essentially leaves these three people as THE ENTIRE TNA KNOCKOUT DIVISION. So go ahead and bask in the glow of that wondrous fact for a second. Also, when Brooke Hogan was fired, Brooke Tessmacher became Bully Ray’s new girlfriend, because the most important quality you can find in a woman is that she’s a hotter version of your ex while still having the same name in case you mix them up.

Now, ODB is not a great choice to be Knockouts Champion, in the same way that I wouldn’t be a great choice to be the President. And while Brooke has proven that she can be great when given the opportunity, it’s kind of hard to take her seriously when 98% of her offense is based on her, (admittedly incredible,) ass. In fact, there is an actual sequence in this match where the following things occurred:

*Brooke hits ODB in the face with her ass*
*Brooke rubs her ass in ODB’s face*
*ODB counters another ass attack with a devastating blow from her tits*
*ODB rubs her vagina into Brooke’s face*

I Don’t Think That Any Caption Could Do This Picture Justice.

It would be so easy to turn the transcript from this match into a strangely violent porn film, that its almost unfair. But LUCKILY, there’s a third person in the match. Her name is Gail Kim, and she’s ridiculously good. Whenever Gail and Brooke are doing things, this match magically transforms into something worth watching.

She Will Feel The POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUNCE. PERIOD.

This doesn’t happen nearly enough, and everything in between is sadness and woe, narrated by Tenay and Tazz having a spirited debate about juice. Yes, they really argue about juice. No, this is not out of character.

In the end, ODB manages to hit the TKO on Kim, landing her right on top of Brooke. Things seem wrapped up until some music hits and out from the back comes Lei’D Tapa, the last winner of the Gutcheck challenge. ODB runs out to attack Tapa, who just shrugs her off and knocks her head off with a huge boot to the face. Tapa leaves ODB in a heap on the ramp and moves to the ring. Brooke tries to head her off by leaping off the top rope, but Tapa effortlessly catches her, and powerbombs her back into the ring with ease.

Splat.

With everyone else destroyed, Gail slides over and pins Brooke to win the title, and Tapa teases beating her down too, before Tapa hands Gail the belt and raises her hand, proving it to have been a conspiracy all along. Gail has a new bodyguard, a new title, and is Queen of the mountain once again.

I had some fun with it, but this match was pretty solid overall, and while I had some major doubts about Tapa before this, she was a revelation here. This division has been begging for a good monster heel ever since they ran Awesome Kong out of town, and with this debut, Tapa made about the best first impression possible.

For the first time in what seems like decades, there’s something to be excited about in the TNA Knockouts division. So while their may only be 4 people in it, the new power team of Kim and Tapa are going to make things pretty goddamn interesting from here on.

72 out of 100

Gail Kim Over Everyone Else Following Shenanigans.

Segment 9 – Jesse And Robbie E Squirt Thick White Goo All Over Each Other.

Cewsh: What? They did.

See?

Segment 10 – Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle

Cewsh: Two years ago, Bobby Roode decided it was time for him to be recognized for his abilities as a singles wrestler, after spending most of his career in TNA as a decorated tag team specialist. He entered the Bound For Glory Series, and against all the odds he managed to win the entire thing. That set him on a collision course with the champion at Bound For Glory, and that champion was Kurt Angle. The match was to be a turning point in Roode’s career, the culmination of all of his hard work and dedication. But Kurt Angle went into the match injured, and for some reason TNA decided to have Angle retain the title, stifling Roode in the very moment of his triumph. Roode didn’t take it well. When his partner James Storm did beat Angle for the title, Roode turned on him brutally and took the title for himself, embarking on the longest, (and perhaps best,) title reign in TNA history.

It’s been two years since that last Bound For Glory match happened between these two, and while that time has not been good to either man for a number of reasons, they stand here today ready to have the match that they were meant to have in the first place. With the awful booking, the pressure and the injuries stripped away, finally Bobby Roode gets a chance to beat Kurt Angle fair and square, and his goal is to make Kurt tap out. He has a lot that he needs to find out about both Kurt and himself. And this is the ultimate test.

“ALSO, WHY ARE YOUR EARS SO TINY?”

Remember back to the early 2000s, where it seemed like half of the WWE roster had insane chemistry with each other, and so many matches were just so smooth that they were fun to watch, even completely out of context? Kurt Angle was a part of so many of those matches, and for whatever reason you don’t see quite so many of them now as you used to. But for the first 3/4ths of this match, Roode and Angle reignite that concept and have a match that is smooth, dazzling, and just generally fun to watch. Watching them trade crazy counter after crazy counter took me right out of the show I was watching and plastered a big stupid grin on my face.

How Smooth? This Smooth.

And if the entire match were basically just the first 3/4ths, then the next paragraph would almost certainly start with something like, “I loved…” or “This ruled…” or “I COMMEND MY SOUL UNTO WHATEVER DEMON POWERS KURT ANGLE.” Unfortunately, there was another 4th of this match, and thanks to it, I’m starting the next paragraph like this:

BOOOOOOOO. Basically what happens is Angle has Roode in the Anklelock, with his legs grapevined around Roode’s legs and everything. Roode appears to pass out in the hold, and the referee lifts his hand to test it. When he does so, the ref basically lifts Roode’s hand right to the rope, and Roode grabs it and breaks the hold. I assume this is just the result of bad ring positioning, but the crowd immediately starts chanting, “BULLSHIT” and the announcers struggle to come up with a plausible explanation. But that’s just the appetizer. Angle then grabs Roode and lifts him up to the top rope before delivering a towering Super Angle Slam that looks like it’s going to win Angle the match. But then Angle doesn’t get up. Roode barely makes it up before the referee’s count of 10 and then falls down on Angle. And just like that he gets the pinfall and win the match.

It seems clear that this Kurt ANgle neck injury thing is part of a storyline, and it probably even connects to the Hall of Fame thing. To that I say, BAH. The ending completely deflated the previously amped up crowd, it did nothing to help Roode, and honestly, I don’t really care what storyline they’re running. THIS IS BOUND FOR GLORY. YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO USE IT AS A FUCKING TRANSITIONAL SHOW TO MOVE STORYLINES ALONG. THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE BUILDING STORYLINES FOR, YOU KNOBBLEGOBBLERS.

Every fucking time anyone chooses a big show to give TNA a chance again, they get half baked transitional storylines ruining perfectly good matches and derailing interesting characters. If you fuckbats could go one fucking show without sticking your magical booking wands so far up your wrestler’s asses that they can’t even waddle convincingly, then maybe your remaining fans would have something to show the rest of the wrestling community to stop us all making dismissive wanking motions every time your name is brought up.

Despite all of the nonsense, Angle and Roode did all they could to make this a good match. I just wish they could just be left to do it in peace.

82 out of 100

Cewsh’s Seal of Approval

Bobby Roode Over Kurt Angle Following A Nap.

Segment 11 – Ethan Carter III vs. Norv Fernum

Cewsh: No matter what else comes of Ethan Carter III, at the very least, we will always have his entrance. His beautiful, beautiful entrance.

Now then, EC3 looks like he’s made out of what was left over after they built the Parthenon, and his opponent is…Norv Fernum? Who the shit is Norv Fernum?

Ah, I see. Apparently Dixie has gifted her nephew with quite the first opponent for his first TNA match. Well Norv may be small, but small guys can be scrappy. Maybe he’s a great counter wrestler. Let’s see EC3 try to do a move to the guy.

Headlock Driver Is Super Effective.

This wasn’t the most entertaining squash match or anything, but I think we’re only just starting to get a feel for this character. Don’t be surprised to see me singing the praises of EC3 for a long time to come. After all, the world needs him.

60 out of 100

EC3 Over Norv Fernum Following A Headlock Driver.

Segment 12 – Magnus vs. Sting

Cewsh: Perhaps the unspoken theme of this year’s Bound For Glory is legends putting over young guys on their way out. Kurt Angle lost to Roode, admittedly under ridiculous circumstances, and now here it’s Magnus’ turn to give it a try. The story behind the match is a simple one. Magnus is frustrated at being unable to get that one big win to prove himself as a burgeoning main eventer, and Sting, who has become his mentor since the reformation of the Main Event Mafia, has stepped up to give Magnus his opportunity, just like Ric Flair did for him all those years ago. This is Magnus’ shot, and if he doesn’t take that step here, who knows if he ever will?

I don’t know if this match is going to be that moment in Magnus’ career or not, honestly. It certainly didn’t feel that way, as the match itself wasn’t particularly good, and Magnus won it clean with the Texas Cloverleaf in a way that can only reasonably be described as “anticlimactic”. Then, after the win, he poses a lot while Sting tries to shake his hand and congratulate him, and a heel turn for Magnus is clearly being suggested. But if this was meant to be the moment for Magnus that they were hinting at, I think they’re going to need to keep looking. It’s a big win, but this one is going to look better in the record books than it did in the ring. And Sting’s troubling legacy of never successfully putting over any up and coming TNA talent continues.

62 out of 100

Magnus Over Sting Following The Texas Cloverleaf.

Segment 13 – TNA World Heavyweight Championship – No Disqualification Match – Bully Ray (c) vs. AJ Styles

Cewsh: Here we go, guys. The main event of TNA’s biggest show of the year. AJ Styles has finally made it to the end of his road. But before we can enjoy where he’s gotten, let’s see all the things he tripped over on his way.

The IDEA behind AJ Styles’ current push was that he would become upset with TNA’s lack of support for him after the Claire Lynch fiasco, and he would become much like Sting did when he went up into the rafters in WCW once upon a time. Then, after an appropriate period of uncertainty about where he stood, AJ would come to the rescue of TNA and save them from the scourge of Bully Ray and Aces and Eights by beating him for the title at Bound For Glory. Seems simple enough, right? Yeah, it isn’t. Over the course of the past year, TNA has burdened AJ with so much nonsense and garbage that a lesser man would have quit and become a janitor just to keep his name off of this monstrosity.

Realizing this, TNA attempted to salvage it numerous times by shifting the storyline midstream. With about a month to spare before the big show, Dixie Carter abruptly turned heel and set out to ruin AJ Styles’ life and keep him out of the main event of Bound For Glory. She even went so far as to put a $50,000 bounty on his head. They used the real life storyline of AJ working without a real contract while they renegotiate his deal to make Dixie look like a monster forcing him to work for peanuts. And if AJ doesn’t win at Bound For Glory, he will no longer have a job in TNA.

But on the plus side, for us at least, AJ Styles and Bully Ray have always had great matches together. So in the ring, shorn of the diseased remnants of their hopelessly broken storyline, we might just find some magic. So let’s do this.

From the start of the match, AJ Styles seems outmatched against Bully Ray. AJ has been in big matches before, and is as great as they come, but Bully is absolutely on fire right now, and every time Bully gets the upper hand, you can clearly hear him shouting to AJ, “You’re afraid of me, AJ. This isn’t your night. You can’t beat me.” Finally, Bully goes too far, saying that he’ll take care of AJ’s wife and kids after this is all over, and AJ explodes, immediately locking in his devastating Calf Killer leg lock on Bully.

Before Bully is even in the Calf Killer for more than a moment, we get out first interference of the match, as Garrett Bischoff shows up on the ring apron to cause some mischief. AJ chases him away, but this gives Bully the chance to grab a big ol’ hammer. AJ isn’t fooled though, and he deflects the shot, leaving Bully to have to go back to a normal match. That’s two bullets out of Bully Ray’s gimmick gun spent, but he has plenty left to go. Bully starts lighting up AJ with huge chops, only to be stunned when AJ asks for more, no matter how badly he lays them in.

AJ’s chest begins to look like somebody took a sledgehammer to it, but he just keeps slapping Bully and demanding more and more. Finally, Bully starts to look worried that this might be a different AJ Styles than the one he expected to face. Luckily for Bully, bullet number 3 shows up in the form of Knux, who hits AJ with a skyscraping chokeslam. But AJ kicks out, and the Bully gets visibly frustrated that things aren’t already wrapped up. He charges AJ, but winds up taking Knux’s head off by accident, giving AJ the tiniest bit of breathing room. They wind up outside of the ring, and after countering another attempted hammer blow, AJ gets himself an idea. And all AJ Styles ideas are painful ideas.

AJ DESTROYS himself with a springboard 450 through the announce table. Bully was lucky enough to escape before AJ landed, and that puts AJ in serious trouble. Bully takes this opportunity to go for bullet number 4, as Taz passes him a razor that Bully uses to cut the canvas ropes on the ring. That lets Bully pull back the ring covering and padding, leaving the exposed wooden beams underneath. His plan is simple. Piledrive AJ into the wood and end his career.

Then, just to make it worse, Bully calls to the back for his Aces and Eights brothers. But instead of them, a nervous looking Dixie Carter comes to the ring. She grabs a chair and hands it to Bully, but all it does is distract Bully long enough for AJ to come flying into the ring and level Bully, before hitting a huge Springboard 450.

He looks to have it all sewn up, but Dixie Carter strikes again by grabbing referee Earl Hebner and demanding that he not make the count. Earl hesitates briefly before basically telling her to go fuck herself and trying to make the count, but that’s all the time that Bully Ray needed to kick out and save his title.

“Girl, Do Not Even.”

It looks like the lights are starting to go out for Mr. Styles when Bully Ray grabs a chair and wears AJ out with it. But this is professional wrestling, and hope springs eternal for any babyface in need. What looked like a sure victory for Bully Ray evaporates right in front of his eyes as AJ uses a burst of adrenaline to stun Bully with a Pele Kick from out of nowhere. And after one big chair shot for good measure, AJ Styles takes to the sky one more time, with the move that won him his very first championship in TNA 11 years ago, the Sprial Tap. Bully is down and his chambers are spent. The reign of Aces and Eights is over.

And with that the job is done. The bully is beaten, the boss is foiled, and the hero claims his destiny. As the show goes off the air, AJ Styles jumps the barricade and heads off into the fans, the fans that he has worked so hard to keep in TNA since the day those doors opened. And they embrace him, all smiling wide, at the crowning of a new People’s Champion.

If you can’t guess from the write up, I thought way higher of this match than I ever expected to. There was interference and shenanigans and the like, but those things don’t truly detract from major matches when used the right way. And here they were used well. And the important thing to remember at the end of all of this is that despite the run down state of the company, and despite the questionable futures of everyone involved, and despite a storyline that sought to actively sabotogue everything good and right in this match at every turn; this is the best main event in the history of Bound For Glory. That’s an indictment of Bound For Glory main events and praise for this match, but more the latter. This match and that final moment were worth watching for. And I’m as surprised to be typing those words as you are to be reading them.

90 out of 100

Cewsh’s Seal of Approval

AJ Styles Over Bully Ray Following The Spiral Tap.
———————————————-

Cewsh’s Conclusions:

Cewsh: Shit, I don’t know, guys. Most of this show is exactly what I expected. Disjointed, confusing, silly, and lame. There wasn’t much that was actively horrible though, and I wasn’t hating the show until I got to the main event and came away actually kind fond of it. Don’t get me wrong, I recommended two matches, and those are the only ones that you should even consider watching. But I came to Bound For Glory expecting to unleash war on a deserving for, and I didn’t. Because even if the entire show were just the main event, it might have been worth it.

But then again, I got the show for free.

Cewsh’s Final Score: 74.3 out of 100

Well that’ll do it for us this time, boys and girls. We hope you enjoyed Bound For Glory, or that you at least were able to wring some meaning out of the senseless chaos and destruction that has assaulted our minds. Luckily, we have the perfect palate cleanser for you, as our next review will be of New Japan’s King of Pro Wrestling, where we’ll see Hiroshi Tanahashi challenge Kazuchika Okada one more time for the title while a I freak out like a background character in a fighting game. And don’t forget to keep an eye out for our continuing recaps of the amazing Shimmer weekend as they continue on all week long. Until next time, remember to keep reading and be good to one another.

Written by Cewsh

I am the owner and operator of Cewsh Reviews. We review pro wrestling shows in a way that is funny and educational. Probably. Usually at least one or the other.

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