The Rest of the Card:
-Christian defeated Ezekiel Jackson to retain the ECW Championship
-The Miz defeated MVP to win the United States Championship
-Sheamus defeated Randy Orton by disqualification to retain the WWE Championship
-Mickie James defeated Michelle McCool to win the Diva’s Championship
-The Undertaker defeated Rey Mysterio to retain the World Heavyweight Championship
Michael Cole, Matt Striker, and Jerry Lawler are on commentary.
Dolph Ziggler, sentenced to eternally draw early numbers in the Rumble, is #1. #2 is Evan Bourne. These two show off their athleticism, ending with Bourne hitting a Shooting Star Press right as CM Punk enters #3. Punk proceeds to eliminate both Bourne and Ziggler, then grab the mic and preach to the crowd. JTG is #4. He’s gone in about 30 seconds. Punk grabs the mic and preaches some more. Great Khali is #5. Love the spot where the shithead heel gets his comeuppance.
Punk tries to reason with Khali but gets a Brain Chop. Then a Vice Grip as Beth Phoenix enters #6. Second woman after Chyna to enter the Rumble. She lays a kiss on Khali and manages to eliminate him! She goes after Punk and levels him with a Clothesline, then goes for the GTS. Punk slips out and hits her with the GTS. He then tosses her over the top. #7 is Zack Ryder, not yet hot. Punk blindsides Ryder with the microphone and then eliminates him.
Punk tempts fate and #8 is Triple H. Drew McIntyre, the reigning Intercontinental Champion and Mr. McMahon’s “Chosen One,” is #9. Triple H blocks the GTS and eliminates Punk. Great run for Punk. #10 is Ted DiBiase of The Legacy. John Morrison is #11. Kane is #12. Cody Rhodes is #13. Match slowing down here, got to let the ring fill up. #14 is MVP. He gets attacked by Miz coming down the ramp. MVP is taken to the back to be attended to. #15 is Carlito. #16 is The Miz, who gets eliminated by a returning MVP. They go over the top together, both guys are gone.
Matt Hardy is #17. This feels like the very end of his run. He’s gone in about 15 seconds after being pushed off the top rope by Kane. And then Kane is dumped from behind by Triple H. #18 is Shawn Michaels, who comes in on fire. He Back Drops Carlito over the top. He tosses Cody. He tosses DiBiase. He dumps Morrison. Him and Triple H combine to eliminate McIntyre. John Cena is #19.
Cena comes in and beats up both members of DX. Michaels catches Triple H with Sweet Chin Music and eliminates him! That’s one of the bigger shockers ever. Shelton Benjamin is #20. He lasts less than a minute before being tossed by Cena. Yoshi Tatsu is #21. He’s gone quickly courtesy of Cena. Big Show is #22. Mark Henry is #23. Chris Masters is #24. He gets dumped by Big Show after 30 seconds. R-Truth is #25. In one of the stranger moments in Rumble history, he simultaneously eliminates Big Show and Mark Henry. I thought that might be the start of a push for him, but it wasn’t.
Jack Swagger is #26. Kofi Kingston is #27. He eliminates Swagger and R-Truth. Chris Jericho is #28. Cena tosses Kofi. In a huge shocker, Edge is #29. He had suffered a torn Achilles Tendon in the summer. No one was expecting him to be back this soon. He Spears Jericho, Michaels, and Cena. And then tosses Jericho! Batista is #30 and there are only four people left in the match, so our final four is Edge, Batista, Cena, and Michaels.
Batista dominates with power moves. But then walks into a Spear from Edge. Cena hits Edge with the AA. Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music on Batista and Cena, then nearly gets eliminated by Edge. Batista manages to knock Michaels off the apron. There’s sort of an eerie hush over the arena. Shawn tries to get back into the ring the referees have to try to drag him out. He hits Charles Robinson with Sweet Chin Music before leaving.
That was kind of a bummer. I wish they’d rearranged things and done his elimination a little earlier, maybe before Edge entered so that we could bring the crowd back up.
Batista goes for the Batista Bomb on Cena, it gets reversed. Cena goes for the AA, Batista slips out. Batista goes for a Clothesline, Cena pulls the rope down and Batista is gone. Edge dodges a Cena Clothesline and throws him out. Edge is our winner.
Rating: ****¼. That was really good. So much fun stuff here: Punk’s preaching, Edge’s shocking return, Shawn being on fire and then devastated. Unlike the last few years they didn’t let the ring fill up with 10+ guys. Good pacing, they spaced out the big entrants with Triple H coming in early, Cena and Michaels in the middle, then Jericho, Batista, and Edge at the end.
Unable to get a title match against Undertaker for Wrestlemania, Shawn went to desperate measures by interfering in the Elimination Chamber and costing Undertaker the match. Chris Jericho was the new World Heavyweight Champion, leading Edge to challenge him for Wrestlemania. Jericho retained the title after a disappointing feud and match.
On the Raw side, John Cena won the WWE Championship from Sheamus in the Elimination Chamber. Mr. McMahon then granted Batista an immediate title shot, which allowed him to win the title. Batista and Cena faced off in a rematch at Wrestlemania with Cena walking out as champion.