The Rest of the Card:
-The Hardy Boyz defeated MNM
-Bobby Lashley defeated Test to retain the ECW Championship
-Batista defeated Mr. Kennedy to retain the World Heavyweight Championship
-John Cena defeated Umaga in a Last Man Standing Match to retain the WWE Championship
Michael Cole, JBL, and Jerry Lawler are on commentary.
Ric Flair is #1. He’ll have to be the 60 Minute Man again tonight to win. Finlay is #2. He had appeared at a couple Rumbles as an agent breaking up fights, now for the first time he’s competing in the match. #3 is Kenny Dykstra. If you had told me he was still with WWE in 2016 I would have expected him to have been World Champion by now, not still rocking the Spirit Squad gimmick.
Matt Hardy is #4. Edge is #5. He’s one half of the World Tag Team Champions with Randy Orton. He hits Spears on Flair and Finlay but walks right into a Twist of Fate from Hardy. Edge recovers to toss Flair. Then Dykstra gets cocky, mocks the Flair strut, and also gets eliminated by Edge. ECW’s Tommy Dreamer is #6. He’s billed as an ECW “Extremist.” WWE terminology is the worst. #7 is Sabu, another ECW competitor. He sets up a table at ringside. Sneaking suspicion he might end up going through that table. #8 is Gregory Helms. And he has the music that says “Gregory Helms” at the beginning.
Shelton Benjamin is #9. Kane is #10. He tosses Dreamer and then Chokeslams Sabu through the table at ringside. CM Punk is #11. #12 is KING BOOKER! What an amazing gimmick that was. Gregory Helms is gone courtesy of Booker. #13 is Super Crazy. Jeff Hardy, the reigning Intercontinental Champion, is #14. #15 is The Sandman. He actually gets a big response as he comes through the crowd. Bigger pop than Roman Reigns would get with that entrance. He’s got his Singapore Cane and levels a bunch of people before being tossed by King Booker.
#16 is Randy Orton. He and his tag partner Edge combine to eliminate Super Crazy, then both Hardys. #17 is Chris Benoit. #18 is Rob Van Dam. King Booker gets dumped by Van Dam. Booker then returns, attacks Kane, and tosses him. Don’t think that led to anything. #19 is “The World’s Largest Love Machine,” Viscera. #20 is Johnny Nitro of MNM. #21 is Kevin Thorn with his vampire gimmick. Surprised we haven’t seen another vampire in WWE with the popularity of “Twilight.”
#22 is Hardcore Holly. #23 is Shawn Michaels with DX music and a big pop in his hometown. He eliminates Finlay with a Clothesline, then everyone gangs up on Viscera to eliminate him. Michaels Back Drops Benjamin over the top. Chris Masters is #24. Nitro gets knocked off the top by Benoit and is eliminated. #25 is Chavo Guerrero. Kevin Thorn is eliminated by Benoit. Masters is eliminated by Van Dam. MVP is #26. #27 is Carlito to a surprisingly good pop.
#28 is The Great Khali. He Brain Chops everyone. Then tosses Hardcore Holly. #29 is The Miz. He’s gone in ten seconds courtesy of Khali. Khali tosses Van Dam. And Punk. And Carlito. And Chavo. #30 is the only man who can stop him, The Undertaker. This is Taker’s first Rumble since 2003. Taker unloads on Khali and eliminates him with a Clothesline. Old School on MVP. Taker tosses MVP.
We’re down to four: Undertaker, Michaels, Orton, and Edge. Taker gets a chair shot and blades. He recovers, sets Orton up for a Chokeslam, but gets hit with a Spear. Another chair shot on Taker. Michaels gets back in, Back Drops Orton over the top, then eliminates Edge with Sweet Chin Music. Taker and Michaels rise to their feet with a simultaneous sit up/kip up.
They proceed to have the most epic final two battle in Rumble history. Shawn wins a fight on the top rope and hits the Flying Elbow. HBK goes for Sweet Chin Music but is caught with a Chokeslam. He goes for the Tombstone but Shawn slips out. Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music! Shawn sets up for another Sweet Chin Music but Taker dumps him over the top to win the match.
Rating: ****. Pretty uneventful before the end, but the Shawn/Taker showdown was so great it added about a full star to the rating.
Undertaker chose to face Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship and was victorious.
On the Raw side, a Triple Threat Match was held featuring Shawn Michaels, Randy Orton, and Edge. Michaels won and went on to face John Cena for the WWE Championship. Michaels fell short as Cena retained his title.