Breaking News: Stan Hansen Announced For WWE Hall of Fame

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Cewsh: While we ordinarily aren’t in the habit of reporting on individual inductees into the WWE Hall of Fame, this is one that I just can’t pass up the opportunity to gush about. Stan Hansen is such a monumental figure in the history of Japanese wrestling, and in trailblazing the concept of the credible gaijin that he is synonymous with the term to this day. So to commemorate the recognition of this one in a lifetime badass supreme, here’s the piece I wrote about him when we inducted him into the Rajah Hall of Fame a few years ago.

 

Stan Hansen. A name synonymous with badass, beer swilling, ass kicking, cowboy American motherfuckers. He’s a man with more great matches than you’ve had sexual encounters, and a man who is more famous and revered than you and everyone you’ve ever met combined.

What’s that? You’ve never heard of him? Well that’s okay becau…

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LARIAT!

As I was saying, Stan Hansen was born August 29th, 1949, 4 years after the end of World War II. Which was good for Hitler, because otherwise he might have found out what a Lariat For Justice feels like when delivered by an infant fresh off the boat from America. Hansen actually began wrestling part time while he was trying out from the Detroit Wheels, a team of the now defunct World Football League. This didn’t last long, though, as none of the pansies in the WFL would step on the field with him, so he turned to wrestling full time to sate his dual desires to hurt people and to be paid to hurt people.

As the years went on he became known as a good wrestler with a severe tendency towards breaking faces whenever he saw fit, until he caught the eye of Giant Baba in All Japan Pro Wrestling. Hansen went over there and wasted absolutely no time showing the Japanese what a pissed off cowboy looks like, as he would come tearing ass through the crowd swinging a rope around and violently removing anyone within scowling distance of him. The Japanese fans, being Japanese, loved the shit out of this and would queue up to take one in the kisser from the double hard bastard himself. While in Japan he became the only man to beat both Giant Baba and Antonio Inoki in championship matches, formed an American League of AssKickery with all of his best buds who came over from the States, and basically reigned down lariats and mean looks on anyone with the balls of steel to step in the ring with him.

To this day, if you were to try to find out who the most famous and well respected wrestlers in Puroresu history were, you wouldn’t have to go far before you found the name Stan Hansen, and mentions of his name bring the word “Lariat” to the lips of many an awed fan. He was the ultimate American, the perfect cowboy, and when he rode off into the sunset, he left a void that can never be filled.

So here’s to the King of the East, the Lion of Lariats, and the Maharajah of Massive Beatdowns. He’s a legend, a god, and now he’s a Hall of Famer.

Now then, let’s move on. Wait, what’s that behind you…

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LARIAT!

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