Hello darlings, we’re home from Shimmer! It was even more fun than last time! Would you like some results, thoughts, and pictures? Of course you would. So without further ado, SHIMMER!
The Suckers Waiting Out In The Cold Before We Even Got There.
SPARKLE (pre-show) – Jordan McEntyre vs. Knight Wagner.
Cewsh: These guys kick off every Shimmer day with a comedy match, and they’re always top notch humor. First it was announced that they were tagging against the Rock N Roll Express, but then, shockingly, Ricky and Robert didn’t show so they faced each other. Amusing as hell.
Mrs. Cewsh: This match featured a plastic candy cane and Eryn, (who manages both guys as a team,) cheating for both in turn. They kind of made my day.
Cewsh: GREEN MAAAAAAAAN.
Cewsh: Whooooa, wait a second. Where did the Bonesaw with no presence who didn’t fit her character go? This Bonesaw is threatening, crisp, and has this gimmick down pat. She’s ready for the main roster immediately. Though i’m not sure sparkly red rhinestones really work for the Female Suplex Machine.
Mrs. Cewsh: Yeah yeah yeah, Bonesaw, scary, rawr. JETT RILEY IS RAINBOW BRIGHT. 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
Mrs.Cewsh: I really don’t think she was bad. There was a problem with the ring ropes, so it’s not fair to judge. It was a pretty average opening match.
Cewsh: It was fantastic to see Chif back again and the crowd went totally bananas for her. Other than that it was the usual Skater open challenge. Skater holds her own and ultimately get murderized. Skater is a heat goddess, so its all good.
Mrs.Cewsh: How did I not know how beautiful MsChif is? And how fun to watch? She’s amazing.
Cewsh: More so than even Bonesaw, Mena Libra improved by leaps and bounds from the last tapings to this one. What a fantastic big woman heel she is and has the potential to be.
Courtney Rush is fine enough too, and apparently has a following, but it will help to think of her as a new and improved Neveah.
Mrs. Cewsh: Courtney Rush Sparkled awhile back as PJ Tyler. She’s got a fantastic new look, and has clearly improved. A nice addition, even if the jackass behind me decided she must be a heel because her entrance was too sexy (?!?)
Cewsh: Lufi may well have gotten a bigger pop than MsChif, and as well she might after almost dying and coming back in incredible shape. This was a damn solid match, and Lufi’s new finisher (which is Mike Knox’s old finisher or Alex Shelley’s Shellshock for reference) is sick looking.
Mrs. Cewsh: Pegaboo fell out of the ring during the match, so Nakagawa chucked her at Lufi when they took it to the outside. After the match, Lufi gave Pegaboo CPR, which was amazing. Everyone involved is amazing.
Cewsh: RX came out in Dr. Who outfits and were beyond adorable. Mia Yim came out in, basically, nothing, and Jamilia Craft came out in tassels. The wrestling was good, but the chemistry between the teams was a little spotty as they’re both new teams.
Mrs.Cewsh: Mia and Jamilia are kind of a weird team, but they did a nice job. I’m used to Mia being a heel, so when she came out it was a little weird. RX are the cutest things ever. I’m not really a Dr. Who fan, but they were dressed up as the 10th and 11th Doctors and they had the Sonic Screwdrivers. I can tell the eventual 8x10s will be big sellers.
Cewsh: Von Eerie is officially my favorite Shimmer wrestler.
Here she takes a vicious beating from Del Rey which is fucking rad and sells it like death (Rey) before ducking a huge kick and jumping into the ring before the countout. Great match and got Eerie over like crazy. They brawled afterward to set up the next match and the crowd was way into it.
Mrs. Cewsh: Shimmer’s trying something new here, where they filmed basically their first vignette. Earlier in the show, Von Eerie cut a promo in the back, but Del Rey interrupted. Instead of the usual “I don’t like you.” “I don’t like you!” interruption, Del Rey proceeded to beat the ever loving fuckshit out of Von Eerie while all the heels in the locker room looked on and kept right on eating their pretzels.
Cewsh: This was the first match of Melissa having to work her way back up to title contendership and they couldn’t have picked a better opponent. This match made Athena look like a main event star and made it clear that she’s ready for a big time push.
Mrs.Cewsh: Poor Athena didn’t have a very productive weekend, going 0-3, but her matches made her look like a million bucks.
Cewsh: Let me make 3 things clear.
1. Rebecca Knox, as I speculated with the wayback machine, is probably the most drop dead gorgeous woman I have ever been in the same building as (sorry Mrs. Cewsh).
2. The Knight Dynasty have so much heat it is in danger of becoming nuclear.
3. See 1 and 2 again, because YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.
The ending made it seem like there may wind up being some issues between Nikki and Ariel, but it wasn’t really pursued after that, so it may just be an isolated deal.
Mrs. Cewsh: This end needs some clarification. Rebecca Knox is now a fantastic heel manager with the Knight Dynasty. During the match, she tossed Britani a pair of brass knucks. Ariel caught her with them, took them away, and yes, in a VERY unface like move, hit Britani with them. Ref of course only saw Ariel hit her, so Pretty Bitchin’ were DQd.
The Knights are the greatest thing in history and you need them in your life. Just don’t anger Saraya. She will punch you through your head.
Cewsh: Deeb is crazy over. Haze has crazy heat. This was good.
Cewsh: This was very much a “two friends having a friendly competition” sort of match, with Hamada underestimating Jessie and becoming more and more impressed with her before finally putting her away. Then there were hugs.
Cewsh: HOLY SHIT TITLE CHANGE.
Ohata and Matsumoto so so batshit over its ridiculous, and the genuine shock when they won the title, followed by the standing ovation was really, really cool.
Mrs.Cewsh: I’ve never seen a title change before! It was really exciting, and nice to see someone finally take out the Ninjas. If anything, losing only made them more over. Where’s your titles? *clap clap clapclapclap*
Cewsh: I went into this being thoroughly bored by the idea. I came out of it with the realization that Madison Eagles is incapable of having bad matches, or even just not great matches.
Also Madison got thrown, basically into our seats by Mercedes. Which was awesome.
Mrs. Cewsh: I was kind of hard on Mercedes last tapings, saying she kind of phoned it in. Uh, that was not the case this time. She looked great and the match was hot with a lot of crowd involvement. Madison’s nose got busted from a punch to the face.
Cewsh: Great first show to kick things off. The top babyface acts in this company are over to the point of infallibility at this point, and Eagles/Melissa has people salivating all over themselves.
Mrs.Cewsh: THE KNIGHT DYNASTY!!!!!!!!!!
Cewsh: Courtney really did look good here (wrestling wise). But Daizee steals every show with her heelish antics.
Mrs. Cewsh: After the match, Daizee came out and announced that she would be reforming her team with Nakagawa. Which is sweet.
Mrs. Cewsh: This wasn’t the best match of the weekend. The end was messed up and no one really seemed to click. RX looked cute, coming out in V for Vendetta masks and being announced as “From Paris, Via the Tardis.”
Cewsh: Now while this was a good match, and featured my favorite Shimmer lady (WOO VON EERIE) i’m not sure it lived up to the white hot confrontation they had on the show before.
Cewsh: The Melissa Makes Midcarders Look Like Stars Tour 2011 continues.
Mrs. Cewsh: Some people thought this match was too slow and plodding, but I thought it was a pretty good battle of the colossuses. Melissa knocked out one of Melanie’s teeth.
Cewsh: This was a natural extension of Jessie and Serena’s feuds with the respective Ninjas. Unfortunately Serena took about 8 years cutting the promo to set it up, so the crowd wasn’t as into it as they might have been. Still though, not bad.
Mrs. Cewsh: It was a long promo, and it wasn’t her best, but it did let Nicole Mathews call Jessie an Australian Bella Twin.
Cewsh: Only on this card could this have been a midcard match.
They had me on the edge of my seat the whole time that MsChif was going to regain her title.
Mrs. Cewsh: I thought this was a strong match and the right way to defend a title outside of the main event. Madison promo’d in the back that no one was worthy of a shot, MsChif came to the ring and called her out.
Cewsh: What an excellent fucking match. The crowd was SO into 3S and SO against the Knights, that the building was deafening.
Cewsh: Let me make this incredibly clear. In my opinion, this is the best match contested between women in the past decade in this or any country. This was the match that the Joshi industry has been trying to build itself up to painfully slowly ever since the bottom fell out of the Joshi industry at the turn of the century. See, when Joshi, for lack of a better term, died out 10 years ago, all the top stars retired and moved on, and there really weren’t any new stars to make a future hopeful, so it just kind of disappeared. Then, recently, excitement and interest has stirred in Joshi again, and a whole new generation of Joshi stars have been slowly accumulating the skill and experience to rebuild what had been lost. Foremost of those is Ayumi Kurihara, daughter of the famous wrestler friendly restaurant owner in Japan, and she is leading a group of women so talented that the old stars like Manami Toyota, Aja Kong, and yes, Ayako Hamada, have come out of retirement to take advantage of the new interest.
So what does all this mean for this match? Well i’ve been watching all of this for years, and the day I was waiting for was the day one of the new girls would be good enough to try to grab the torch from one of the legends officially, which is the basis for all of the truly great feuds in Joshi history. And here, Kurihara tried to do just that, and she and Hamada gave us a Bigg Egg Universe style match, like nobody else could.
Oh that is such an undersell. This match had it all. Ayumi going for repeated top rope moves to try to put away Hamada (since she hasn’t developed a kill move yet). Hamada being all fucking business for the first time and just battering the kid, only for Ayumi to show incredible fire and surprise her. Ayumi kicking out of the AP Cross with all of her strength left, only to get put away with another right after. It was like they read the script right off of my heartstrings.
For fuck’s sake people. This was magic.
Mrs.Cewsh: Uh, what he said. Only shorter. And less purple prose.
Mrs.Cewsh: At the end of the tapings, I thought this was the strongest card of the weekend. It didn’t have a lot of undercard to drag, and there’s a vet in pretty much every match. Very strong showing.
Cewsh: This was roughly the greatest match ever contested. But don’t take my word for it. Watch it yourself:
Green Man over Red Man following his touching all four turnbuckles.
Cewsh: Hey, remember what I said about O’Reilly and Force? Yeah, that’s all still true. Add to that that Jett Riley is adorable and spunky and has tons of potential and that December is perfectly fine but not inspiring me to write sonnets about her skills.
Mrs.Cewsh: Good to see Kellie finally get a win. The match won’t set the world on fire, but it was solid.
Mrs. Cewsh: Oh wow, we haven’t seen Mademoiselle Rachelle in like 11 volumes.
Stephie looked great with new gear and Lufi dressed as Snow White. She locked in a sleeper and sang Stephie a lullaby.
Cewsh: I’ve never thought much of Sassy Stephie before, even though Mrs. Cewsh sang her praises, but she was really a great midcard heel here, making Lufi look fantastic.
Cewsh: I have to wonder what the next step is for Rachel. They clearly see her as above the rest of the midcarders, but the main event could not possibly be more crowded. I think she’ll need to find another story before she can really breakthrough the crowd, and while it may sound crazy, I think that maybe a heel turn on Jessica and a run as the biggest heel on the roster could be her ticket to the promised land.
Cewsh: When Volume 37 began, fans were fond of 3S and were in their corner. By this point in Volume 39, the fans are RABID for 3S, to the point where they’re almost regarding the other face team of Nikki and Ariel as the heels here.
These Are The Streamers That Spilled Out From Under The Ring Because Underneath Was Fucking FULL OF FUCKING STREAMERS.
Nikki steps up here as the ring general of the match, but the one who surprised me the most here was Ariel, as she showed an aggression and babyface fire that i’ve never seen from here before, and used her size like a goddamn battering ram. She gelled fantastically with Matsumoto, and I would love to see more interaction between the two in the future.
Cewsh: Britani Knight will be working for a major American company inside the year. She’s drop dead gorgeous, a born heel, can wrestle for days, and she’s only fucking 18.
She gives Mercedes all she can handle here and it may be the surprise match of the whole weekend. Great, great stuff.
Especially when Brittani takes the nastiest Fisherman Buster i’ve ever seen.
Mrs.Cewsh: Oh Mercedes. I like you so much after this weekend. Someone in my section yelled, “Don’t kill her! Don’t hurt her too bad!” and Mercedes turned around, flashed that amazing smile, and goes, “Aw, just a little?” Between that and K-Nox climbing up on the guardrail, and eventually a fan’s lap, to try to hide from Saraya, it was just fun.
Cewsh: Haze and Nakagawa are such a strange pairing, but they have off the charts chemistry as partners, and together they’re such bratty heels that its a ton of fun to watch them. On the other hand Jamilia Craft has potential, but is just bland of bathwater at this point I think, and Mia Yim has dedicated herself to becoming the half naked Low Ki. I’m not sure how that makes me feel, but I find it hard to mind.
Mrs.Cewsh: I don’t know if I’m a Jessica James fan, but this match may have made me a believer. She and Athena have wrestled a million times in Texas and this was so crisp and high energy. Very surprising.
Cewsh: They just have so much goddamned chemistry together. As far as I know, this is the best match either woman has had anywhere.
Mrs.Cewsh: I want to hide just thinking about Saraya. She is the scariest, best heel ever. Seeing a great face like MsChif take her out was so gratifying.
Starting out, Chif did her scream but it didn’t phase Saraya. She then hauled Knox into the ring by her hair and made her scream at Chif. She’s got some pipes, but she stalled out with a squeak when Chif wasn’t impressed.
Cewsh: This was a grudge match, and they made that abundantly clear by tearing into each other. Portia isn’t the mat wrestler sort so this seems to suit her just fine, antagonizing Serena and brawling, until finally Portia grabs a cookie sheet and nails Serena with it as she goes for the spear. Portia gets DQed and then refs come to help Serena to the back.
Its worth mentioning that by this point there were a few hecklers in the crowd just plain audibly shitting on everything. They hated the cookie sheet spot, they criticized how the refs failed to support Serena’s head in a medically appropriate way, and some guy 11 beers into his afternoon just started standing up and giving a Jim Duggan “Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”. I don’t know if that stuff is going to come through on the DVD, but these guys were dickheads, and were talked to at intermission.
Mrs.Cewsh: Wrestling fans, the cookie sheet was fine. So were the refs helping Serena out. Bite me.
Cewsh: Now THIS match shut those hecklers right the fuck up.
Jessie McKay is officially indispensable. Nobody on the entire roster wakes up a tired or restless crowd like she can. And this match was fantastic and really cemented the rise of both of these women to serious status.
Mrs.Cewsh: Great, great, GREAT match. I really enjoyed it. They got a good amount of time, it was well paced, and everyone looked great. It also redeemed Nicole, who took a lot of the Ninja’s losses this weekend. She’s going to get a main event push.
Mrs.Cewsh: Good match with amazing performers, but I’m not sure if I loved it. It was basically the main event of 36 again, while I would have preferred something a little newer.
Cewsh: Yeah, this was a solid main event, don’t get me wrong, but it really can’t hold a candle to the two amazing ones before it.
Mrs.Cewsh: I thought this one was a little weak. The 2/3 falls was great, as was a lot of the under/mid card. It had fun moments, but nothing that’ll make it a instant classic like Ayumi/Hamada.
Cewsh: If you can only buy 3 of these 4 shows, this is the one you should skip. There’s nothing truly remarkable here to make you sit up and take notice, and the other shows and just so, so much stronger.
Mrs.Cewsh: Oh, Taylor Made came back? Shimmer, you really don’t want that bungalow, do you?
Cewsh: Look, I don’t want to say anything truly mean about anyone, least of all the Shimmer girls but, well, Taylor Made is just awful. Kellie Skater, on the other hand, is the perfect opening match wrestler. The crowd loves her and always responds, she puts everyone she wrestles over win or lose, but she doesn’t step on the matches to come. They stumbled onto a goldmine in her. Come to think of it, with all the Aussie ladies.
Cewsh: These two are both on the cusp of becoming something very interesting. In both cases, its just going to take that oooooone extra aspect to their character.
This match was very crisp and quite good for the people in it, especially since a week ago I thought of Bonesaw as being almost Taylor Madelike in worth to the show. That’ll teach me to judge.
Mrs.Cewsh: Poor Christina may not have won, but she certainly made an impression. This storyline is going super well for her as evidenced by the “Please Come Back” chants.
Cewsh: If she doesn’t come back, I may actually cry. I don’t choose my favorites lightly, and again here she shows that she can sell like nobody’s business and the crowd is eating it up.
Mrs.Cewsh: Another good match for Melanie. I like that MsChif is also working her way back up to the main event.
Cewsh: Shimmer has a main event genuinely flooded with beloved talent and an undercard teeming with potential and waiting for an opportunity to shine. Whenever they put the two together, good stuff is almost a guarantee.
Cewsh: Aint nothing wrong here.
Mrs.Cewsh: This was more of a brawl than a match, and I know I missed the finish because there was so much going on.
It was great to see Danger get her hands on Knox; maybe an actual match in her future?
Cewsh: Oh please, PLEASE, let that come true.
Mrs.Cewsh: Poor Jessica didn’t stand a chance. But, like Nevaeh or even Tennile, Sara brought something out of her that I didn’t see before.
Cewsh: Her spine?
Mrs.Cewsh: Portia played an amazing chicken heel, running from Serena all match but eventually getting locked into the ring with her when Lufi and Melissa brawled to the back. It was good, but the whole show suffered from hecklers and general burnout.
Cewsh: This match did happen, I assure you. I was there.
Honestly there isn’t much else to say about it. Matthews never seems to have the best matches with the joshi girls, and Kurihara could never possibly have topped what she did the first night.
Cewsh: HOLY SHIT NEW CHAMPIONS?!
Mrs.Cewsh: Wow, I did not see that one coming, but I like it. 3S are phenomenal and so beloved but they can’t talk to the fans. Now, Daizee can cut fabulous heel promos and the belts will be defended on ROH i-PPV on Wrestlemania weekend. It’s a really solid choice. The only concern is once again all of our belt holders are heels.
Cewsh: This really makes sense too, because it seems clear that Nakagawa is the joshi that has adapted the best to the American style of wrestling, and she and Daizee, as i’ve said, are a dream together.
Add that to the fact that Ohata and Matsumoto are getting big pushes back home in Japan, and this was the smart choice.
Mrs.Cewsh: I wish this match had a) 5 more minutes or b) paced the time it had a little better. From the bell, they beat the hell out of each other and it was clear it wasn’t going to be a 60 minute iron woman match, but the end did seem to come a little abruptly. Still, neither woman has a bad match in her. Good closeout to the weekend, even if it didn’t leave us on the high note of 36.
Cewsh: I’m not a big believer in matches needed more time to be better, I think that this match just wasn’t as well paced as the others this weekend, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that Hamada almost seemed distracted, as would be completely understandable with the events back home. Still, even with that, this was a very good match, and the moment that Madison Eagles kicked out of the AP Cross after a 1 count I thought the whole crowd was going to fucking riot, it was great.
Mrs.Cewsh: All in all, I wouldn’t trade the weekend for anything. There was something amazing on every show. I’ll leave you with some fun stories.
Allison Danger bullied me. She looked at me at the merch tables and goes, “You look like a girl who needs a shirt.” I was like, “um oh no, I don’t really have shirt money ma’am…” She goes, “C’mon honey. Last one left. It’s your size and it’ll hug your boobs! Don’t make me take it back home.” She’s a very persuasive saleswoman.
At the afterparty, we decided to leave and I needed to get my coat from our table. Britani Knight had taken it over and was talking to some fans. I grabbed my coat and Britani saw Cewsh had a poster. She took it out of his hand and was like, “I’ll sign it. I’VE ALREADY SIGNED THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!”
Speaking of the poster, here’s mine:
I’m kind of an autograph junkie, but I didn’t want to bother people like Hamada who weren’t there long or Serena who was surrounded all night. Cewsh still got me 22, (I got all tongue tied.) They are:
1. Bryce Remsburg 7. Bonesaw 13. Britani Knight 19. Allison Danger
2. Christina Von Eerie 8. Joey Eastman 14. Mia Yim 20. Leva Bates
3. Jett Riley 9. Brian Gorie 15. Daizee Haze 21. Dave Prazak
4. Amber Gertner 10. Jessica James 16. Tomoka Nakagawa 22. Cheerleader Melissa
5. LuFisto 11. Saraya Knight 17. MsChif
6. Jordan McEntyre 12. Jamilia Craft 18. Bobby Dempsy
Cewsh: Oh, and Sweet Saraya hugged me. It was like being hugged by the Devil. In a good way.