Mrs. Cewsh: Good evening kittens, are you all tuckered out? Cewsh and I certainly are, for we’ve spent the whole weekend at SHIMMER! It was seriously the most fun, exciting thing I’ve done as a wrestling fan and I’m going to share! There will be HUGE MAJOR SPOILERS. I am not kidding. There will also be pictures! Everyone loves pictures!
So without further ado, let’s do a family friendly, (except for Leva’s entrance music,) supplement!
To start, let me say I am the worst travel companion in history. I keep my anxiety pretty well in check as long as I’m within a, like, 20 mile bubble around my home. Once we breach that bubble, I’m all “Oh my god, what if the house runs away and the cat catches on fire and the car breaks and the hotel thinks I smell weird and they say I can’t stay and what if there’s traffic? Let’s leave 2 hours early to beat the traffic!”
I’m one of those people who gets to the airport 4 hours before a domestic flight.
So we showed up at 12:00 PM for a bell time of 2:00 PM on Saturday. Still, an hour before doors open wouldn’t have been an issue…if doors opened on time. This leads me to lesson number one of Shimmer:
- The doors will NEVER open on time. Don’t stress it.
Corollary number 1:
- WEAR COMFORTABLE SHOES!
My calves are killing me two days later because I have those stupid “walking in sand! Tone your butt!” sneakers. Yeah, it’s toned. Great. I can’t walk today because I spent two and a half hours in line. Comfortable shoes and clothes. Seriously. You’re going to be here for 8+ hours.
Day One Results:
Mia Yim and Taylor Made def. Mena Libra and Maya Svensson.
Pretty good dark match, obviously cut a little short by all the delays. Kind of funny that Mia, Mena, and Maya’s names are all pronounced similarly. Made chanting kind of awkward.
SHIMMER Volume 33
Show opened with a 10 bell salute to Luna Vachon and another worker that I didn’t catch the name of. Can anyone in the comments help me with that?
1. Jessica James & Rachel Summerlyn def. Athena & Bonesaw Jessie Brooks.
Athena was a big surprise. I’d heard people rave about her, but never seen her work. She’s really good and really gets what she’s going for.
2. Cat Power def. Jamilia Craft.
Loved Cat batting at Jamilia’s tassels. She also gets it.
Amber tries to interview Jessie McKay, but Madison Eagles tells her to get lost and takes over the interview.
3. Allison Danger def. Leva Bates
Post match Danger says she makes stars and totally puts over Leva. Veronika Vice runs in, but this isn’t Danger’s first rodeo. Danger stops her and asks why she’s here. Veronika wants her shot. They’ll have a match on Volume 34.
A little confusing. Not everyone, (me and Cewsh especially,) knew who Veronika was. The guy next to me also pointed out that her merch was set up, so it wasn’t a big surprise for people who did recognize her. Still, the segment got Leva super over and set up a story line.
4. Melanie Cruise def. Taylor Made.
Cruise might be the third most over heel in the company. She’s really getting fantastic. It was pretty much a squash. As the Sassy Black Woman behind me said, “That girl eeeeevil.”
Melissa appears on the video screen. Cuts a pretty short promo on Eagles. Gist: she’s going home with gold tonight.
5. Misaki Ohata def. Ariel.
I’m not a big fan of Ariel, but she turned it out. Cewsh felt like there was some miscommunication, but I didn’t notice. I’ll have to see it on DVD.
Kellie Skater comes out and challenges anyone in the locker room. Serena runs out to answer her.
6. Serena def. Kellie Skater.
Absolutely phenomenal. One of the most amazing, emotional moments. Serena got the biggest pop of the entire weekend and a slew of chants. “Welcome home” was the big one. She was very gracious and blew kisses and looked like she cried a little.
7. Sara Del Rey def. Nevaeh.
I still don’t see much in Nevaeh and she’s not very over. Del Rey got bigger pops. Especially from Sassy Black Lady who spun me around to tell me “That’s my girl! That’s my girl, Del Rey!”
Nikki comes out for an interview with Amber. She’s been with the company for years and wants a title shot.I doubt she’ll get it.
8. Jessie McKay def. Nicole Matthews.
Good showing for Jessie. Set up the Jessie story for the rest of the tapings, but of course we didn’t know that.
9.Ayumi Kurihara def. Daizee Haze.
Daizee is UNBELIEVABLY over as a heel. I could have never expected it. Speaking of Daizee, Lesson Number 2 of Shimmer:
- The camera adds 10 pounds and 5 years.
Seriously, seeing Daizee on DVD, I have trouble believing she’s only 27. Besides being around forever, she just looks older than that. In person, it’s all makeup and harsh lighting. Plus, she’s about as big around as my pinkie and tiny short. All of the girls are completely gorg in real life, even the heels who’d rather you’d didn’t know that.
10. Ayako Hamada def. Tomoka Nakagawa
Best match of the taping. Hamada stole the show, again. I can’t gush enough about her. Also, I was completely star-struck every time she came by and may have almost fainted when she put her arm around me for a photo.
11. Madison Eagles def. Cheerleader Melissa
Really good match, although overshadowed by the previous. Shocking no one, Melissa is the most over face, besides the returning Serena. Shocking everyone, Madison is the top heel and….
- Madison Eagles absolutely belongs as Champion.
Hear me out rabid Melissa fans. Melissa will be over with or without the belt. Madison needs the belt right now and she’s doing amazing things with it.
It was really crazy. People EVERYWHERE, pushing, no real lines. I bought three shirts, so I could have a different one on for each DVD. Way more stuff than I was expecting and good prices. Obviously the lower/mid-card girls were a little more chipper, spent a little more time interacting with fans. I could have gotten more, but guys, please. Don’t be that guy.
- That guy. Don’t be him.
He’s learing. He’s mouth breathing. Is he..is he petting that 8×10? He’s That Guy. Look, they’re gorgeous women. They’re great athletes. And they’re talking to you. I get it. I’m star-struck too. BUT FUCKING MOVE YOU DUMB FUCK. Buy your stuff and move. Exchange pleasantries while she makes your change. Do not just stand there telling Tenille about your cat for five minutes while a huge queue forms. She’s losing sales and we’re losing patience.
Shimmer Lesson Number 5:
- Pace yourself! We still have another show today and I’m already hoarse.
Learn from my mistake, ducklings.
SHIMMER Volume 34.
1. Kellie Skater def. Jamilia Craft with a running neck snap.
…Oh, this happened? I forgot.
2. Melanie Cruise def. Leva Bates
Danger’s promo put Leva over. She came out dressed as Iron Man and got some of the best chants of the weekend. I really hope Dun-Duh-Duh-Da-Da! comes across on DVD.
3. Nikki Roxx def. Misaki Ohata
Pretty good match. Nikki’s really sweet and Ohata’s way over.
4. Daffney def. Neveah
5. Veronika Vice def. Allison Danger
6. Tenille def. Daizee Haze
Really quick match, surprising to see Tenille go over. Daizee was apparently hurt, although she seemed fine after the show so hopefully it was just a stinger.
7. The Canadian Ninjas def. Rachel & Jessica’s Excellent Tag Team to retain the SHIMMER Tag Team Championship
Seemed like the Ninjas might finally lose, but Daffney ran down to continue her feud with Rachel. I was wearing my Rachel and Jessica’s Egg-cellent Tag Team Shirt! Love them.
8. Melissa def. Tomoka Nakagawa
Another great great match. Nakagawa is my favorite of the joshis. Even with the language barrier, she never flounders and she makes the crowd hate her. Plus, she stole some guys water to spit at Melissa. You can’t buy that kind of improv.
Serena comes out and cuts a great promo, but is interrupted by Portia with one of the greatest promos of all time. Seriously, this girl is one of the greatest mouths in history. Sets up a great looking feud.
9. Tenille def. Athena
This will probably replace the Daizee match since the end was flubbed. Again, both women are great for their age and experience level. Tenille’s bridging Indian Deathlock is pretty over.
10. Jessie McKay def. Sara Del Rey & Hamada
I cannot begin to describe to you how fan-fucking-tastic this match is. Hamada is soooooooo over and the match made Jessie a credible threat to the champ. Watch it watch it watch it watch it watch it.
11. Madison Eagles def. Ayumi Kurihara
I thought it was just OK, but again I didn’t pace myself for it. I’ll need to see it again. The most memorable part was after the pin. The crowd boos and Madison yells, “Why are you still booing me?!” Someone yells, “We don’t like you!”. Someone else, “Because you’re mean!”. Madison looks at the crowd, down at Ayumi, and slowly shakes her hand. “There!”
She’s become so impressive. Really. Seriously.
OK, so I thought the women were intimidating at intermission? I cannot explain to you what I felt when Melissa walked up to my table to ask if I enjoyed the show. Again, some of the women like Rachel or Daffney, totally approachable. Melissa IS her character and she’s just as intense out of the ring. Very sweet though, had a nice chat with Cewsh about his joshi shirt. I just squeaked at her. Shimmer Lesson Number 6:
- Go to the afterparties!
Not only does it give money to the sponsor, it’s a really fun and unique experience. I gave fries to Joey Eastman, Cewsh shook hands with Dave Prazak, Melissa stopped by to chat with us, I got a thumbs up from Rachel, and we listened to Daffney tell stories for ages. Plus she showed me pictures of her cat.
Day Two Results:
Maya Svensson def. Mia Yim.
Not as good as yesterday’s match. Maya doesn’t seem ready.
SHIMMER Volume 35
1. Melanie Cruise def. Jessica James.
2. Mercedes Martinez def. Misaki Ohata.
Mercedes looked really good. Great smile, again, very gracious to the fans. I never got the feeling that any of the girls didn’t want to be there. She held Ohata up for a brainbuster for at least 30 seconds. The crowd went nuts.
3. Tomoka Nakagawa and Daizee Haze def. Pretty Bitchin’ (Nikki Roxx and Ariel)
Maybe even a better heel tag team than the Ninjas. I hope they keep tagging forever because they played off each other great. Someone brought Daizee a sandwich and she used it as a prop for the whole match AND she did Nakagawa’s water spit. Really great. Plus Nakagawa trying to count the pin for Daizee when the ref was distracted? Gold.
4. Allison Danger def. Veronika Vice
Still kind of eh. It’s a pretty good story, but I’m not sure how I feel about Veronika yet.
Jessie has a really good promo about how Madison was her trainer and her friend, but she doesn’t even recognize her now.
5. Portia Perez def. Serena via crossface submission.
Nicole interfered so Portia could choke Serena out. Serena, still super over. Portia, still super over. Exciting.
6. Amazing Kong def. Kellie Skater.
Skater says Serena didn’t beat her because it was a fast count. She calls out another challenger.
It’s Kong! Big pop, nice match with some good comedy spots. I wish I could’ve got a shot of Kong stealing Skater’s pose.
Madison says everyone is out to get her. She clearly did not turn face last night.
7. Sara Del Rey def. Rachel Summerlyn.
Rachel holds her own very well, despite Del Rey threatening to break her pinkie. She may have even squeaked out a win, but Daffney ran out to distract her.
8. Hamada def. Nicole Matthews via Hamada Driver.
Slightly disappointing for Hamada. It’s good, but I don’t feel like the styles meshed. It wasn’t a classic.
9. Ayumi Kurihara def. Cheerleader Melissa.
Good match, spilled out onto the outside. Crowd was really into it. Really nice hug at the end.
10. Madison Eagles def. Jessie McKay
Where did this match come from? It was the match of the volume, even with Hamada, Kurihara, and Melissa below it. I mean Jessie was a jobber in April and now she is a main even star. Thank you Jessie.
SHIMMER Volume 36
1. Mercedes Martinez def. Nikki Roxx with the fisherman buster
Wrong choice for an opener. The crowd wasn’t ready for it, sat on their hands. Nikki needed a win if they’re going to push her to main event status.
2. Jamilia Craft def. Bonesaw
Not very good. Bonesaw could use a vet to guide her.
3. Mena Libra def. Taylor Made
Another rookie match? People in the crowd are starting to grumble. Mena looked pretty good. I’m not sure I see it in Taylor.
Amber Gertner comes to the ring to conduct an interview with Sara Del Rey. Del Rey sends her away and calls out Serena. She tells Serena that no one wants her here. The crowd chants “Yes we do!”. Madison comes out to back Del Rey. Melissa backs Serena. Nakagawa and Daizee come out for the heels, Hamada and Kurihara for the faces. Finally Bryce runs out and announces we’re having an 8-woman Shim-vivor Series.
4. Leva Bates def. Cat Power
Leva continues to be massively over, but the crowd is still not loving this undercard. Leva had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction. I hope that’s not what everyone takes away on DVD.
5. Veronika Vice def. Jessica James
Not very good. Really starting to hurt the crowd.
6. Misaki Ohata def. Kellie Skater
Oh thank god. Really fun, really good. Everyone is on the same page, fans are hot. Skater got a really great “Tap!” chant.
7. Nevaeh def. Athena
Nevaeh got a bit more reaction today.
8. Canadian Ninjas def. Tenille & McKay to retain.
Nicole played an AMAZING chicken. Kind of formulaic, but really highlighted McKay. Tenille looked good too.
9. Rachel Summerlyn def. Daffney
Hardcore I Quit match with a lot of weapons involved. I can’t comment too much, because most of it took place on the floor on the opposite side from me. What I saw was good, crowd was super into it. Rachel got hard wayed, but didn’t let it phase her. The end did come kind of out of nowhere from my perspective.
10. Ayumi Kurihara, Cheerleader Melissa, Hamada & Serena def. Daizee Haze, Madison Eagles, Sara Del Rey & Tomoka Nakagawa
Best match of the weekend. Wouldn’t change a thing.
Okay kittens, that’ll do for our recap. We’ll also review one or more of the DVDs when they actually come out. You should buy them so you can follow along. Plus, you can play Spot the Cewshs. It’ll be a game. You’ll enjoy it. And Shimmer can afford to keep paying these fantastic women. Now have some assorted pictures.