Vice’s 2009 Year End Awards.

Unlike Cewsh, I don’t hand out actual scores for individual matches, so I don’t really have any hard statistics to come up with stuff for “Best” categories. I just have favorites. I should point out that year end awards are very difficult for me to do, because I don’t have any concept of time. To prove that, one of my very first thoughts for favorite match of this year was actually from 2007. You could say that my memory is similar to that of a goldfish. Ironically, the only thing that can truly help solve my memory problems is something that commonly destroys short term memory. Life, right?

And this is late because I wanted to wait until the veeeeeery end of the year before reaching conclusions. If you believed that, I may as well tell you that the Tooth Fairy is real, and that she’s actually a prostitute named Janet who lives in New York. Yes, Vice is lazy. Also, I don’t know who the fuck came up with the idea of doing extra stuff on Sundays, because my Sundays are very similar to the life of Al Bundy. Fending off women with a hand halfway down my pants, watching bad television and eating, is the best way to live life.

Anyway, I haz awordz and you can haz them two.

The Good:

Favorite Match of the Year:

AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels – TNA Turning Point

Favorite Wrestler of the Year:


CM Punk and AJ Styles

Favorite Diva of the Year:

DAFFERS!

Show of the Year:


TNA Turning Point

Best Mic Skills of the Year:


CM PUNK

Best Gimmick of the Year:


“The Second City Saint” CM Punk. sXe.

Best Entrance:

DAFFERS!

Rookie of the Year:


Desmond Wolfe

The Bad:

Least Favorite Match of the Year:


Randy Orton vs. John Cena – Iron Man Match – WWE Bragging Rights.

Least Favorite Wrestler of the Year:


John Cena (SHOCK!)

Least Favorite Diva of the Year:


Michelle McCool

Worst Mic Skills of the Year:


Tazz

Worst Gimmick of the Year:


Da Da Da Da DaDa SUPER CENA.

Worst Entrance of the Year:

Veteran Most in Need of Retirement:


The Undertaker


The Tanooki


Biggest Production Pet Peeve Of The Year:

 

WWE. All of it.


Where The SHELL Did You Go:

 
Shark Boy

Worst Laser Related Lasering:

 
TNA

Best Hat:



DAFFERS!

Vice Needs To Go Lie Down:


DAFFERS!

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